


f (l) i g h t

by transzoemurphy



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Jared Kleinman Is Bad at Feelings, Lowercase, Repressed Childhood Trauma, Repressed Memories, fight or fight response, fun times, i need to sleep, i wrote this while pacing and eating honey nut cheerios and crying, why am i writing this i have the psats tmrw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 11:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18409583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transzoemurphy/pseuds/transzoemurphy
Summary: the first day of school, jared runs away from connor.





	f (l) i g h t

**Author's Note:**

> the way sky lakota lynch runs away from the Situation?! god. i feel that bro  
> tw for past abuse

jared kleinman had already royally fucked up a social interaction with evan, and now, seeing connor, it was only fitting that he greeted him with a shitty joke he should've known wouldn't go over well.

"hey connor! lovin' the new hair length! very... school shooter chic!"

connor looked at jared with this expression he couldn't place but it made jared's heart race and his head pound with memories he'd forgotten.

"i was just kidding," he tried to desperately salvage the situation, "it was a joke?"

"oh, no," connor said, and yeah, oh no was jared's main thought at that moment. "it was funny! i'm laughing! can't you tell?"

jared wasn't great at spotting sarcasm, but connor's sarcasm had a biting tone to it that froze him to his core, striking a fear inside of him he didn't know he was still capable of experiencing.

he couldn't remember the last time he was this afraid. and there was nothing to be scared of, but the tone of connor's voice and the cold look in his eyes still stirred his fight or flight response in a way it hadn't been needed in years.

"you're such a freak," he said, his voice shaking, but it was mostly to himself.  you're such a freak. you can't even get over things that happened years ago. it shouldn't matter anymore.

everything inside him wanted him to run so he did, he fucking bolted, his body tensed up, waiting for the inevitable pain when someone broke and hurt him, because that was all he was good for at this point.

he was a disaster. he collapsed on the ground in a bathroom stall, burying his head in his arms, his mind swirling with things he couldn't quite forget, and he wondered if anyone would even notice he was gone.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is @trans-zoe-murphy if yall want More of Me


End file.
